It’s been 21 years since I was given a chance to live in this kind of place in the world. My parents gave me enough love and support to carry on as well us enjoy life on its full potential. As I grow up, I’ve started looking for the love that my parents can’t ever give me, the love of a partner and as the time goes by, I’ve been so desperate chasing for the Prince Charming’s that I believe, is what a Princess like me deserves.
I fell in love many times or should I say infatuated? Since I got no experience in this illusion called Love, I never had an idea if I’m really doing the love thing right. I seriously don’t know how to express the feeling I felt but it’s weird, so I guess this is what they call, love. But all those illusions were broken and I’ve never been in a relationship so I decided to stop. I told myself that it’s impossible for me to love someone if I still don’t know who I really am.
So I started focusing on my career in Theatre and worked hard to achieve my dreams in life and to be honest, it’s satisfying. That’s when I realised that Theatre is my one true love.
But as days go by I’ve started craving for that love again because I felt like I’m still incomplete. That was when I realised to accept myself and to come out as a Lesbian.
YES. You read it right, I’m a lesbian.
December 21, 2016. That was the day I came out to my friends and I posted a photo saying “Everybody is free to love” with an LGBT sign on Facebook which surprised a lot of my friends. I didn’t stop there and I researched for an online community for Lesbians so they’ll probably help me if I’m still kind of hiding from my family.
Fast forward to January 6, I started coming out as a “REG” (that’s how they call normal people in main) and talked to few people in the chatroom that I found. This is the first time I saw Blaik. I was talking in main with a bunch of people and I remember saying Hi to her and she said Hi back. I asked her through a Whisper message if I can click her Public Camera and she said YES, so I clicked it.
DAMN. I was almost speechless when I saw her face! She’s jaw-dropping and drop dead gorgeous! Oh dear, I’m in trouble. Starting that day, everytime she goes online and open her cam, I always click but sadly, she NEVER clicked me back.
I told myself, I guess she does not like me at all. I just settled on seeing her face everyday and exchanging Hello’s because it’s all enough for me. I’m just going to be her Naughty Stalker.
(Well at least I’m not lost anymore because I found her but still hoping for her to find me. Hopefully.. Probably one of these days. )